Friendship

Was having one hell of a chat marathon with Mr Gold last night when this topic struck my innerself. He was in another of his 'down' moments when he felt himself as a useless and unlucky man in the romance department. Well, not many of us are so 'lucky' that we have people willing to D-I-E for us or to have one who loves you more than you love them. Or put in another way, not all can claim to found love and sustain the person you love with you.

Anyway, the subject of the night was love and the topic that struck me is friendship and love.

Is friendship still important to you when you found love?

Well, this interests me tremendously. I, personally witnessed, say, 90% of my friends or people around me who certainly abandon friendship when they found their 'lover'. Without even batting an eyelid. How many actually values friendship anymore when all they see is their other half?

I am very grateful and also respect people who still values friendship despite being in a relationship. People who still remembers their friends and actually tried to maintain the friendship. Yah, everyone is busy with work and when there is actually time left from work, it will be generated to the one you love most and to some, family too, but the question is, how many still makes the effort to care for a friend?

During the hormonal teen years, we all at some point of the teenage, has sweared sisterhood/brotherhood with some buddies. When college hits, especially the when the other sex seemed to be more captivating, buddies became baddies who just gets into your way, huh? Who you felt very 'fann' and 'jor juue' your 'paktoh' time? Or the 'single' people you flawn your oh-so-happy relationship? *bleks*

It is just human nature, some might tell me. Not trying to boast or anything, but I always make it a priority in my life not to abandone friends, especially those dear to me regardless how big my man's dick may be enticing * :P * Even when I was in relationships, I make sure I meet up with my friends as frequent as I can and if I really cant meet them in person, at least a sms or email. To me, good friends are harder to find than a good man. Quoting Lao Tzu - the only constant in this world is that it always changes - nothing stays set forever. The man / woman you claim your undying love and they claim their utmost passion to you still cant be the warrantee for a lifetime of honestly and loyalty. Yeah, friends may betray you too, but what I am meaning is those true friends... Those you know you'll find one in a million.

It saddens me that many people start to forget another fundamental aspect of life - friendship besides love and family. Who are you to complain to when you boyfriend forgets your 100th day anniversary? Whose shoulder will you be crying on when your I-swear-he-is-the-one abandons you for a shorter and hotter skirt? Who never fails to give you moral support when you needed it most? Who love you for who you are and not discriminating you because you are fat or dressed horridly? You can just forget the years of friendship when you fall in love? Who are there to share you happiness if not friends? Are you sure you only need to communicate with the love of your life and ditch socializing?

At times, it felt almost like betrayal when a so-called friend drop you faster than a hot coal when they find the significant other - as if you are intangible, if you get what I mean. What I benci most is especially those who still likes to say that you are their friend when in reality, treats you none like one. And I despise most is those who *ahem..* forgot about you until they got dumped by the apple of their eyes and they'll start being your best buddy again until the next best thing comes. WTF?

Puh-lease... Friendship is not a commodity you can obtain or dispose at your pleasure. Sorry to say, I definitely wont forgive anyone who commits such crime. Like any other relationships, friendship too needs maintainance. A mere sms or email once in a while is sufficient to show your sincerity * of course, not the once in a bluemoon after you just broken up with someone * A lunch date with friends, even once a month is good enough in this lifetime of routinous work.

I am reading this book - Watching The Tree by Adeline Yen Mah. I like this part where she mentioned relationships is like a sell/buy transaction in business. When one company felt that they are on the losing/non-profit end of the transaction, the relationship will fail as one party feel that they are not getting the ideal objective they want. It applies to relationship as well. If only one party always be the giver and felt not receiving much from the other, the feelings will pile up and eventually, he/she will opt out as the 'transaction' is not just to them anymore.

This immediately ignite another pet-hate of mine - friends who never seemed to make any effort to be friends. Neh, especially those who never seems to ask you out or sms you but having you to make the move to plan a meeting all the time? And say you didnt include them in activities or that you not making effort to be friend with them when you didnt ask them? Come-on la, I am just human. At times, I also need a lil assurance from people that they actually want my company too and not just merely entertain me because I ask them or call them all the time. It is good to know that people wants to meet up with me too, not only having me be the one always initiating the meet. It made me feel as if if I dont ask, you dont bother wanna see me? Call me siu-hei or whatsoever, but that is how I felt.

Humans will be human. It is when they got dumped and the lonelines crept in that they'll feel the importance of having friends. Well, you wont know what you have until you lose them.

I salute to those who doesnt abandon friends despite having a more special someone in their life. I respect and appreciate my friends who dont behave that way. You all are a gem! * :) *